Fantastic Photos of My Family

Our fantastic friend Janna took some great photos of our family. Enjoy!

















All that's missing is Austin.

The Daschund Derby

Yes, you read that right! We registered Cuddles for a Daschund Derby. It was pretty entertaining. Over 60 dogs were signed up to race! It was quite a sight.

Waiting for the race to start.

Cuddles has no idea what is going on.

The racing lane!

There's the finish line!

And now, for the exciting footage of Cuddles' race!

Okay, so she didn't want to race and tried to escape, and I forgot that I was filming.

It's okay, Cuddles, you'll always be #1 with us!

At least you look stylish in your new sweatshirt we bought you because it was so cold outside!

Maybe next year???

My Own Bag!!

I finished my own bag that a lot of other people have. Yay me!

Amazing

Okay, you are all smarter than I give you credit for. It is Dakotah. But when I first saw it, I thought it was Savannah!

Another pic of my pretty princesses:

Guess who?

I know you all are gasping at the sight of what my hair looks like but that's not what I want you to focus on. Who is the little girl? Is it Savannah or Dakotah? Even I had to think for a minute to figure it out. Tell me who you think it is and I'll tell you if you are right or not.

P.S. The handsome guy is my brother.

My Precious Sons

I have been greatly blessed to have two beautiful sons. I have an angel in heaven and an angel on earth. It has taken a long time since we lost Austin to feel myself again. To lose a child, especially so close to his due date, has been so difficult. I have had many questions, and have behaved rather odd about some things. I have felt sad for a very long time.

When we were expecting Colby, barely three months after losing Austin, there was worry and fear up to the day I delivered. I know that you cannot have faith when fear is present, but some days I really wondered if I would lose this child too and if I could stand to deal with that again. When Colby was placed in my arms....I can't think of a word that describes how I felt. I felt like it was okay to be happy again. Colby truly has been a balm for my soul; he soothes the hurt that I feel for Austin. I am not able to hold Austin in my arms; therefore I hold all the more tightly to Colby. I am trying to be a good mother to Colby, for him and for Austin. I feel like when I am taking care of Colby I am taking care of Austin.

Sometimes when I hold Colby, I think that I could be holding Austin. It sounds a little crazy, but I can sometimes imagine that maybe it is Austin in my arms. As Colby gets older, I wonder how Austin would have looked. I always wonder. I'm a little more protective of Colby. I need him to be safe.

Austin is always at the foremost of my mind. I think and wonder about him every day. I know that I was given Colby to help me get through the sadness. I think I am happy again. I'm not hiding anymore. I think I have gotten myself put back together. Except for one piece that will always be missing.

I am so blessed to have my beautiful boys. I am blessed to have a child in heaven, waiting for me there. I am blessed to have three children on earth, to hold and love every day.

Time?

Who has time to blog when me and my baby are sick? Too much going on, no time to write about it.