Aren't they cute? These pictures are at their birthday party in August in Idaho Falls.So, I'll tell you why I say "poor girls". Their thinking has been altered by what has happened to us. Janna had her baby last week and I told my girls that I was going to the hospital. Savannah said, " Oh, I hope it's alive!" The next day I showed Dakotah the new baby's picture and that evening when Clay came home she was telling him about the picture and she said,"And it's alive, Daddy, it's alive!"
How sad!! Before they just assumed that a new baby was alive, now they question that. I hurt that they have to deal with death so closely at such a young age. It has affected them as much as it as affected me. They waited for Austin's birth as excitedly as I did. Often out of nowhere Savannah will say that she misses Austin or that she wishes he didn't die. Dakotah sometimes will be sad about it. She'll say, "I'm sad that Austin died. Are you sad too Mommy?" Then we will be sad together for a while. I want to help them know that being sad and missing him are okay feelings to have and if they want to be sad then it's okay to be sad. They have seen me cry sometimes and they comfort me. They have such sweet hearts.
I love my girls and am so thankful that I have them to help me through this. It would be much harder if I didn't have them as a reason to get up every morning.
10 comments:
Your girls are so sweet Andrea. It is so sad that they have had to go through this experience. But I also think about the strong and compassionate women that they will be because of this very difficult trial.
I think it is so good that you talk to them as openly as you do about all this. As hard as Austin's death has been on your family, I want you to know that you are doing such a good job. I know that Austin is proud of you for helping his sisters know him and love him. And he is proud of you for staying strong for Savannah and Dakotah.
On a side note, today I was working in the staff room at the school, and I happened to glance out in the hall, and there was Savannah, standing there watching me. I think she was waiting for me to notice her, and when I did she lit up and said, "Hi Tiffani!" It was just so sweet.
My girls still get sad about Austin too, and they ask me why, and then they talk about when Jesus comes again. Liah even remembers what we were doing when we found out, and that her daddy cried. I can't even imagine what it must be like for your girls. Just think how happy they will be when you have your next one! I love you, and I am so sorry that you have to go through this.
I'm sorry that your girls have to struggle so much! I know that it is easy for me to look in from the outside and tell you to "look at the bright side", but I was just thinking of how wonderfully compassionate women your girls will grow up to be. They will know and understand sorrow and grief well, and will be able to life others through their experiences.
I used to feel cheated that my kids haven't been able to get to know my mom like a "real" grandma, until I've watched the lessons that they've learned so naturally by experiencing disability first-hand. They already show that such compassion to others in similar situations. I realize now, while, it is still hard and never feels "ideal", that we are being blessed through the experience.
Love,
Melissa
PS. We're still working on another trip to Idaho! We hope to make it happen.
Sheesh...I suppose I should spell check better!
That should say lift others and show that same compassion.
Whew! Its been a day.
Melissa
You are such a good mother to your girls. You are wonderful at helping them deal with their feelings about their brother. You are a stronger woman because Austin was in your life and your girls will be stronger women because of Austin too.
Oh and your girls are beautiful!
They are so precious. Savannah, Dakota, and Austin are lucky to have you for a mother.
The lessons that will continue to come from this will mold your daughter's future and they will always be extremely sympathetic and compassionate women and that is wonderful.
And they're adorable, so that doesn't hurt either!
I think it's great that you allow them and tell them that it's okay to be sad and you are sad together for a while. I know that the life changing experiences we have as children help mold and shape our character as we grow and they have definitely learned sympathy at a young age. I agree with everyone's comments that this will make them compassionate towards others and what a wonderful attribute. They are absolutely precious little girls and how wonderful that you have them to help you through this.
Your girls are the cutest!
I ditto everything everyone said! That was the first thing I thought of when I read your post.....those girls will be great R.S. presidents some day....helping those in need!
You are doing a great job....everyday!
I love you....and appreciate you....teaching my children!
Thanks for dropping off the books!
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