Thursday, November 6, 2008

Some Thoughts I've Had

I've been reading the October Ensign. It's amazing how after having my own personal tragedy, everything suddenly pertains to me. While reading the article "Feeding His Sheep through Visiting Teaching", I was surprised to read about a women who went through my exact experience. Her words could be my words. My pain is the same as hers. I was glad to read that her former visiting teacher was there to help her. I very vividly remember how I felt and was so glad that I had loving people around me during those sad moments. (Sad doesn't even begin to describe it, but I can't think of something better right now!)

Reading that article caused me to think of my own wonderful VT. Catherine P. is the best I've ever had. She made an effort at the beginning to befriend me and gain my trust so when tradegy struck, I already knew that she really did care about me. She has been so kind and thoughtful and is someone that I can be open with. Because she took her job as a VT seriously before, she has been welcomed to share some of my grief now.

Catherine helped me to make this shadow box of reminders of Austin.



The other article that struck with me was called "The Lord Can Ease Our Burdens" by Elder Maury E. Schooff. He said, "Murmuring can … be noisy enough that it drowns out the various spiritual signals to us, signals which tell us in some cases to quit soaking ourselves indulgently in the hot tubs of self-pity! Murmuring over the weight of our crosses not only takes energy otherwise needed to carry them but might cause another to put down his cross altogether.” BOOM!! I was hit with that very hard. That is what I have been doing. I have been soaking in self-pity for so long I'm surprised I haven't drowned. Every moment I just feel sorry for myself. It's hard not to when all around me are people who are having healthy babies. But what is it doing to me? To my family, specifically my girls? To my friends? To my view on life? To my health??

So I have seen the light, so to speak. I know what I need to stop doing. That's one step. Now I just need to figure out how to stop doing it.

6 comments:

Michelle said...

I LOVED that article. As soon as I saw the picture with the footprints I knew what it was about.
Your shadow box is so awesome! It makes me want to make one!
I love that you have a picture of Austin on the page now. He is just beautiful.
It is really hard to find the line between grieving and self-pity sometimes. I'm not sure if I'm there yet myself, but I am so grateful for the progress I have made even in the last couple of weeks.
I love your posts. They help me so much!
Love and {hugs} heading your way from me . . . :)

Heather said...

The shadowbox is lovely, and a great way to remember Austin.

tharker said...

The Shadow Box turned out beautifully. Catherine really is so great. You are incredibly blessed to call her friend. And vice versa.

I too loved both of these articles. I'm so glad that the inspired words of our leaders have helped you feel comfort and the love of our Father in Heaven.

Alicia Leppert said...

That is so great that you've made that realization. I know it will help you so much. It won't be easy, but it is definitely the first step. You will get there!

Amy said...

A great visiting teacher makes such a difference! And Catherine IS wonderful!

cate create said...

I was so touched that you would let me share in making the shadow box. Thank you for letting me be a part of your life. I have been so blessed because of it, and I truly love being your friend! You are a strong and amazing woman!