Tell me, what looks better? This.............
Or this????
(For those who are concerned, we'll be seeing my mom in May, June, and July so we have the summer haircuts covered. After that it may get a little dicey again.)
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Praise My Mom!!
My parents were here over the weekend. We had a lot of fun but the best thing my mom did was to cut Clay's hair!! He has this weird thing that he won't let anyone but my mom cut his hair. Janna offered to make his favorite meal for him if he would let her, we begged him to go pay someone to do it, but he refused. (I told you he could be stubborn!) The last time we saw my mom was at Thanksgiving so that was the last time his hair was cut. So now he is a fresh looking hot thing!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Janna is the Best!
I think I am finally allowing myself to be excited about having this baby. Janna has had a lot to do with that. We had some ideas about decorating the baby room for Austin that never came to be and she has been determined that they will get done for this baby, Colby. On Monday she transformed the baby's room and I'm so thrilled!
She also made this blanket in two days! The blue hankerchiefs were decoration for Austin's baby shower and she put them in the blanket for Colby.
The cowboy boots were Clay's when he was little. Amy made the hat for Austin and I can't bear to put it away so there it will stay.
This cowboy clock was also Clay's when he was little. His aunt Sue made it for him.
Okay, now I just need this baby!
I had to put up a pic of my too cute to handle girls!
Janna made this valance and hung it. Notice the cute decals on the wall.
She also made this blanket in two days! The blue hankerchiefs were decoration for Austin's baby shower and she put them in the blanket for Colby.
Janna made these names. I received Austin's only two days before he died and never hung it up. We decided to hang them together .
The cowboy boots were Clay's when he was little. Amy made the hat for Austin and I can't bear to put it away so there it will stay.
This cowboy clock was also Clay's when he was little. His aunt Sue made it for him.Okay, now I just need this baby!
I had to put up a pic of my too cute to handle girls!
Monday, March 23, 2009
The Wonderful World of Savannah
Savannah has discovered the wonderful world of reading. She constantly has a book in her hands. My favorite thing is when she reads to Dakotah. Dakotah is already learning some words just from being read to all the time. I'm so glad she loves to read like I do because I have all my childhood books that I'm excited to share with her!
Savannah played indoor soccer the last couple of months. She was timid and unsure about what to do with the ball. So mostly she just had a good workout. You'll see that she mostly just runs up and down the court. The first video is my favorite, how she shrinks away from the ball. Oh, she plays like her mother!
But wait! In this video she actually makes contact with the ball!!
Savannah really had a lot of fun and is excited to play outdoor soccer in June.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The Name Game
Thanks to everyone who suggested names. A lot of them I had thought of, but there were a few that I hadn't.
So here is the story:
I had decided on a name a long time ago but Clay didn't like it, refused to consider it. He didn't like anything else I suggested either. So I decided that I would call the baby my name until he came up with something.
Clay went with us on Dakotah's field trip to Petland. The whole time I just thought it was great that he came, great that he was taking time to be with Dakotah. Later that night, he let me know that he wanted to get salt water fish.
"Aren't they beautiful? They look so nice. I've always wanted them, so I think we should get them."
Uh, what?
The whole time at Petland he was staring at fish and deciding to get them! Curse the trip to Petland!
So we discussed it.
Me: It's a waste of money.
Him: We could use some of our tax refund.
Me: What about Cuddles? You are hurting her feelings by wanting to get another pet.
Him: She'll enjoy looking at them, too.
Me: They are hard to take care of. They will die. It will be a waste of money.
Him: I read that they do better in a larger tank and there are new filtration systems that make it easier...and on and on he goes.
The thing about Clay is when he decides something he gets very stubborn about it and will get his way. Most of the time he doesn't care and I make the decisions because he doesn't care but when he does care he will stand firm and unmovable. So at the same time he was determined to get fish, he also was against my baby name choice.
A huge warning sign that he is really into something is when he does research about it. So all the next day he kept telling me things that he had read. That night we had a date. Any guesses as to where Clay wanted to go? To Petco to check out their assortment of fish. We had a big argument because he wasn't listening to my opinion and only had a one track mind and wouldn't get the stupid fish out of his head!! So we ended our date early, he went to bed, and I stayed up late playing MarioKart (it's a great way to get out frustrations, hitting the other players).
The next day was Sunday. We still weren't speaking. At church our Bishop said in his testimony that we shouldn't waste our time do things we know are wrong. After sacrament meeting I suggested we were wasting time being mad at each other. At home we talked and became happy with each other again. I thought he realized the error of getting fish and that that would be the end of it.
A couple hours later he said, "I'm getting the fish. But I promise to buy things a piece at a time."
I said, "If you're getting the stupid fish, then I get the name I want for the baby."
At that, my friends, is how we compromised. I also made sure he understood that I was in NO WAY responsible for the fish. I will not clean them or feed them. If one dies it will float until he comes home to take care of it. They are NOT my fish.
So the official name of our baby is Colby Clay Hayes. There is a Colby, Kansas. It's big enough that they have a community college. I think it is so cute and fits well with the other names in our family. 7 weeks to go!
So here is the story:
I had decided on a name a long time ago but Clay didn't like it, refused to consider it. He didn't like anything else I suggested either. So I decided that I would call the baby my name until he came up with something.
Clay went with us on Dakotah's field trip to Petland. The whole time I just thought it was great that he came, great that he was taking time to be with Dakotah. Later that night, he let me know that he wanted to get salt water fish.
"Aren't they beautiful? They look so nice. I've always wanted them, so I think we should get them."
Uh, what?
The whole time at Petland he was staring at fish and deciding to get them! Curse the trip to Petland!
So we discussed it.
Me: It's a waste of money.
Him: We could use some of our tax refund.
Me: What about Cuddles? You are hurting her feelings by wanting to get another pet.
Him: She'll enjoy looking at them, too.
Me: They are hard to take care of. They will die. It will be a waste of money.
Him: I read that they do better in a larger tank and there are new filtration systems that make it easier...and on and on he goes.
The thing about Clay is when he decides something he gets very stubborn about it and will get his way. Most of the time he doesn't care and I make the decisions because he doesn't care but when he does care he will stand firm and unmovable. So at the same time he was determined to get fish, he also was against my baby name choice.
A huge warning sign that he is really into something is when he does research about it. So all the next day he kept telling me things that he had read. That night we had a date. Any guesses as to where Clay wanted to go? To Petco to check out their assortment of fish. We had a big argument because he wasn't listening to my opinion and only had a one track mind and wouldn't get the stupid fish out of his head!! So we ended our date early, he went to bed, and I stayed up late playing MarioKart (it's a great way to get out frustrations, hitting the other players).
The next day was Sunday. We still weren't speaking. At church our Bishop said in his testimony that we shouldn't waste our time do things we know are wrong. After sacrament meeting I suggested we were wasting time being mad at each other. At home we talked and became happy with each other again. I thought he realized the error of getting fish and that that would be the end of it.
A couple hours later he said, "I'm getting the fish. But I promise to buy things a piece at a time."
I said, "If you're getting the stupid fish, then I get the name I want for the baby."
At that, my friends, is how we compromised. I also made sure he understood that I was in NO WAY responsible for the fish. I will not clean them or feed them. If one dies it will float until he comes home to take care of it. They are NOT my fish.
So the official name of our baby is Colby Clay Hayes. There is a Colby, Kansas. It's big enough that they have a community college. I think it is so cute and fits well with the other names in our family. 7 weeks to go!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Update on Baby
I had a doctor appt last Thursday.
After waiting for over an hour, they asked me if I would see another doctor because Dr M was way behind.
I refused and said I would just leave if he couldn't see me.
Twenty minutes later I got to see him.
He measured my belly and told me that I was measuring "way big".
Then he told me he thought the baby was sideways.
Okay, does anybody remember when I was pregnant with Dakotah? She was sideways and I had an inversion done and it hurt really, really bad. It could be used as a form of torture, it is very painful. So after he said that, all I could think was "NO!! Not the torture!" Even when Dr M reassured me that he had fingers of magic, I told him that it would still hurt. That was frustrating news but I had to remind myself that the baby was still alive, that was more important. Okay.
Then Dr M told me he wanted an ultrasound done to check the position and fluid.
Yay! I would get to see my baby again.
Today I had the ultrasound.
The baby is head down. (Good baby.)
There is plenty of fluid.
I am measuring just right for my due date.
The heartbeat was mesmerizing. It is such a beautiful sight.
Stay tuned for the exciting story on how our baby got his name!!
After waiting for over an hour, they asked me if I would see another doctor because Dr M was way behind.
I refused and said I would just leave if he couldn't see me.
Twenty minutes later I got to see him.
He measured my belly and told me that I was measuring "way big".
Then he told me he thought the baby was sideways.
Okay, does anybody remember when I was pregnant with Dakotah? She was sideways and I had an inversion done and it hurt really, really bad. It could be used as a form of torture, it is very painful. So after he said that, all I could think was "NO!! Not the torture!" Even when Dr M reassured me that he had fingers of magic, I told him that it would still hurt. That was frustrating news but I had to remind myself that the baby was still alive, that was more important. Okay.
Then Dr M told me he wanted an ultrasound done to check the position and fluid.
Yay! I would get to see my baby again.
Today I had the ultrasound.
The baby is head down. (Good baby.)
There is plenty of fluid.
I am measuring just right for my due date.
The heartbeat was mesmerizing. It is such a beautiful sight.
Stay tuned for the exciting story on how our baby got his name!!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Article in paper
There was an article in today's paper that has some statistics about stillbirths. Click here if you are interested.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Feelings.........Nothing More Than Feelings
I am finally reading a book I received when Austin died. It's called "Gone Too Soon" by Sherri Devashrayee Wittwer and is about losing a child through stillbirth or miscarriage. I'm glad I waited to read it because I appreciate what it says more now than I think I would have if I had read it sooner. I don't think I could have handled it sooner.
There are some things written that say what I'm feeling better than I could say it myself. I'd like to share a few:
"The 'miracle of birth': it's a phrase that is tossed about lightly, perhaps with an air of frivolity. Expectant parents are told that 'women have babies every day,' that pregnancy is nothing but a 'normal' condition, and that there is 'nothing to worry about.' Yet, somewhere amidst the quiet regularity of pregnancy and birth, there is often an element of risk. That risk can lead to some of the worst pain imaginable--the loss of a child. Indeed, to many women and men whose experiences with this 'miracle' have yielded disappointment and heartache, the birth process is regarded with nothing less than reverence and deep appreciation. And giving birth to a healthy baby is nothing, if not truly miraculous."
"When a woman bonds with and prepares for the child, but returns home from the hospital with empty arms, the result can be devastating. To have that child so close and then to have it abruptly taken away might well be viewed as one of the cruelest occurrences in nature."
"Few people understand that the fact that the parents never have an opportunity to know their child better is the tragedy."
Today is nine months since Austin died. Does time heal all wounds? My heart is still breaking. It still yearns for the boy I was only able to hold for a few hours. Our lives have continued but I always have in my mind the little boy who would be nine months old and who should be enjoying life with us. I often wonder what he would look like. What would his personality be like? I don't know my own son.
I am going to have another boy, but he is not to replace Austin. He is another person. It is such a confusing array of emotions, to be mourning for the loss of one son, while praying and hoping to be given another. I desperately want this baby, but at the same time I desperately want Austin. Some days I think I may implode from the stress of carrying it all.
There are some things written that say what I'm feeling better than I could say it myself. I'd like to share a few:
"The 'miracle of birth': it's a phrase that is tossed about lightly, perhaps with an air of frivolity. Expectant parents are told that 'women have babies every day,' that pregnancy is nothing but a 'normal' condition, and that there is 'nothing to worry about.' Yet, somewhere amidst the quiet regularity of pregnancy and birth, there is often an element of risk. That risk can lead to some of the worst pain imaginable--the loss of a child. Indeed, to many women and men whose experiences with this 'miracle' have yielded disappointment and heartache, the birth process is regarded with nothing less than reverence and deep appreciation. And giving birth to a healthy baby is nothing, if not truly miraculous."
"When a woman bonds with and prepares for the child, but returns home from the hospital with empty arms, the result can be devastating. To have that child so close and then to have it abruptly taken away might well be viewed as one of the cruelest occurrences in nature."
"Few people understand that the fact that the parents never have an opportunity to know their child better is the tragedy."
Today is nine months since Austin died. Does time heal all wounds? My heart is still breaking. It still yearns for the boy I was only able to hold for a few hours. Our lives have continued but I always have in my mind the little boy who would be nine months old and who should be enjoying life with us. I often wonder what he would look like. What would his personality be like? I don't know my own son.
I am going to have another boy, but he is not to replace Austin. He is another person. It is such a confusing array of emotions, to be mourning for the loss of one son, while praying and hoping to be given another. I desperately want this baby, but at the same time I desperately want Austin. Some days I think I may implode from the stress of carrying it all.
I LOVE YOU, AUSTIN
Monday, March 9, 2009
I Am.....
....tickled clear down to my toenails!!
This summer Clay and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversary so we decided to buy new living room furniture to mark the occasion.
So out with the old.....
and in with the brand spankin', smells good new!!
This summer Clay and I will celebrate our 10 year anniversary so we decided to buy new living room furniture to mark the occasion.
So out with the old.....
and in with the brand spankin', smells good new!!
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Humor is Everything
Just so you all know that we are still a fun loving, love to laugh family, I will share the following story.
A couple years ago when my parents visited my dad read one of my Mary Higgins Clark books. Ever since then Savannah has kept the book and would "read" it. Well now she really can read so she has been reading this Mary Higgins Clark book for real. One day while we were driving, I heard this from the backseat:
"Mom! This book says sexy!"
A minute later:
"Dam-n. Is that right? Yeah, dam-n."
It's against my better judgement, but hearing these things from your six year old is hilarious!!
For those concerned mothers out there, the reading of this book has been postponed until more mature years. She is now reading Henry Huggins and has available to her fifty Babysitter Club books, Ramona Quimby, Charlotte's Web, Pollyanna, and others.
A couple years ago when my parents visited my dad read one of my Mary Higgins Clark books. Ever since then Savannah has kept the book and would "read" it. Well now she really can read so she has been reading this Mary Higgins Clark book for real. One day while we were driving, I heard this from the backseat:
"Mom! This book says sexy!"
A minute later:
"Dam-n. Is that right? Yeah, dam-n."
It's against my better judgement, but hearing these things from your six year old is hilarious!!
For those concerned mothers out there, the reading of this book has been postponed until more mature years. She is now reading Henry Huggins and has available to her fifty Babysitter Club books, Ramona Quimby, Charlotte's Web, Pollyanna, and others.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Mission: Impossible??
Your Mission: Help us find a name for our unborn child. Must be approved by a very picky parent (not me).
Should You Choose To Accept: There are two requirements for any name submitted.
Requirement #1: The name MUST be the name of a city to follow our family's theme that we have ended up with. We have Savannah, Georgia, North or South Dakota(h), and Austin, Texas. (Any other possible state names have already been vetoed.)
Requirement #2: The name MUST be a serious, possible suggestion! No silly ideas such as Walla Walla or Kennewick will be tolerated! Any suggestions that you submit must be a name that you would consider naming your own child. (Anyone who suggests Orlando will be cut off for a week.)
This is a dangerous, but necessary mission. Your bravery will be honored. Now get out those maps and start reading!
Should You Choose To Accept: There are two requirements for any name submitted.
Requirement #1: The name MUST be the name of a city to follow our family's theme that we have ended up with. We have Savannah, Georgia, North or South Dakota(h), and Austin, Texas. (Any other possible state names have already been vetoed.)
Requirement #2: The name MUST be a serious, possible suggestion! No silly ideas such as Walla Walla or Kennewick will be tolerated! Any suggestions that you submit must be a name that you would consider naming your own child. (Anyone who suggests Orlando will be cut off for a week.)
This is a dangerous, but necessary mission. Your bravery will be honored. Now get out those maps and start reading!
Monday, March 2, 2009
Will I Make It 10 More Weeks??
This morning I am already emotionally exhausted. I always wake up and feel the baby moving around. Not this morning. I shook my tummy and poked at it and had feelings of dread that I had already done this before!!! I pleaded with Heavenly Father to not take our baby and begged the kid to move. Still I couldn't feel him. So we got the kids ready, took them to school, and Clay and I went to the doctor. We have a standing agreement with Dr M that I can come in anytime if I need to hear a heartbeat.
As soon as the nurse put the doppler on we could hear the heartbeat. I can't even describe the relief! The whole way home I was kicked from within. "I was just sleeping Mommy! Can't a baby get some rest around here?"
So today I have ordered a Doppler to rent (Dr M can't find his) so if this happens again I won't have to panic for two hours. I'm not going to do anything I had planned today. I'm so tired from the stress of this morning. I'm going to sit on my butt and just feel my baby. Although I do wish I had some ice cream.
As soon as the nurse put the doppler on we could hear the heartbeat. I can't even describe the relief! The whole way home I was kicked from within. "I was just sleeping Mommy! Can't a baby get some rest around here?"
So today I have ordered a Doppler to rent (Dr M can't find his) so if this happens again I won't have to panic for two hours. I'm not going to do anything I had planned today. I'm so tired from the stress of this morning. I'm going to sit on my butt and just feel my baby. Although I do wish I had some ice cream.
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