I am crying as I write this because of all the beautiful responses I just read!! Thank you to everyone that comments. I will always comment now on all the blogs I have been reading for months and you never knew it!!!
Yesterday at church was not good. I have figured out that being around one baby is fine, I can handle that, but being around,oh let's say, fifteen new babies (no exaggeration in our ward!) is pushing my limits. Sacrament meeting is okay because I have my own girls to distract me. But afterwards is when I have trouble.
Clay teaches the 16-17 yr old Sunday School class so I have been going to his class. (I'm hiding in there.) Yesterday no one showed up so he said," Let's go to the adult class." I started to cry just thinking about having to be in there with ALL the babies. So he went to class and I sulked in the hallways.
When I was first called to YW I dreaded it for various reasons. Now it has become my sanctuary. I feel safe in there, and I also feel more comfortable with the girls. The girls have seen somewhat how losing Austin affects me, and I think they see me as a real person, not just a leader. I have become closer to all of the girls through this. I hope they can see how I have grown from this trial and how trials make us stronger. There are so many ways that this trial has affected me for the better. I need to write about them too so you don't think I'm just a crybaby.
So yesterday was bad, but today is a new day and I feel good right now.
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8 comments:
You are wonderful. Just keep up blogging so those of us who were unfortunate enough to have to move away... (ahem, me) can keep up on how you are doing. I wish I could be there to walk thru the halls with you. You know I would not mind. I miss you. You know I can't fully relate to you but all I want you to know is I understand how hard it can be. And you are right with your earlier expressions that you don't get over it ever. You just get on with it. ANd you are doing that. Sorry my comment ment to be short and sweet. I'm thinking of you everyday.
I am so sorry it was a rough day. When I saw you in the hall you seemed fine, or I would have tracked down my runaway son and talked to you some more. Sorry. You are right that our ward is filled with babies. Just about everywhere you look someone is holding one. I know that is difficult, but I am so proud of you for showing up, even though you know what you will face. You are strong and you are doing hard things and you are still okay. Keep coming. Keep doing hard things. When you need me I'll be there to see you through.
I got your message..I was mowing the lawn. I will get them from you at piano lessons! Thanks!
I am proud of you for coming to church! I sometimes feel the same way about the babies! Oh, how I wish I could have more!
It is amazing how the Lord knows the entire picture....thank goodness for your YW calling! It is a safe place to feel loved!
Keep on truckin'!!
You're definitely in a ward with a lot of babies, and I have no doubts as to how difficult that is for you, but I too am so proud of you for coming. You are so much stronger than you know Andrea.
Now might not be the best time to be around babies for you, but maybe in time, babies can be a source of healing for your heart.
I'm so happy that you have those sweet young women to guide. You are an amazing example to them of strength in the face of REALLY hard trials.
I hope you realize what a source of inspiration you are too all of us Andrea.
You are so amazing and strong. You really do inspire me with your strength and courage. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. I truly admire you.
I can only imagine how difficult it is but I echo everyone else--you are incredibly strong and this will get easier over time. Just look at how far you've come!
YW's is a great place to be--you can feed off their spirits and energy when you're feeling blue and they will carry you through. Hang in there. You're doing great!
I'm sorry Sunday was a bad day, but you are right: today is a fresh start.
YW's is a great place, and I'm glad you have that refuge.
I am glad we get to have you in YW. The girls love you. I think they have learned a lot from you and from Austin. Sorry Sunday was a bad day.
By the way, I'm always willing to cruise the halls if you need a buddy...
Shellie
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